


in the end, you were my dream

by straykiz



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, basically it's seunglix, felix does both writing and drawing, flangst, kinda non-idol au, mainly fluff but a lil bit of angst because it's Me, seungmin ends up as a photographer, stray kids never becomes a thing, the others aren't even mentioned directly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 20:18:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13748496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straykiz/pseuds/straykiz
Summary: he’s barely a proper adult when he meets seungmin.he’s all stutters and a cute accent, hands moving with strange gestures, and his cheeks turn a pretty pink whenever he makes a mistake.also:when seungmin becomes felix's sun, and felix becomes the stars in seungmin's night sky





	in the end, you were my dream

**Author's Note:**

> i actually put in some effort in this wow i'm surprised @ myself !! anyways i hope u enjoy this more new word vomit bc this idea has been in my mind for a while and i Finally !! wrote it out

he’s barely a proper adult when he meets seungmin.

 

he’s all stutters and a cute accent, hands moving with strange gestures, and his cheeks turn a pretty pink whenever he makes a mistake. seungmin has a fond smile when they first meet and _oh,_ felix is whipped already.

 

the two become close quickly, and it’s not hard to see that there’s a bond between the two that’s something unique – something that can’t just be described with the word ‘friendship’.

 

late night cuddles become common between the two, and if their parents notice the quiet giggles at night when one visits the other’s house – usually it’s felix at seungmin’s – they never say anything about it, though there’s always a knowing smile directed toward the two in the mornings.

 

photography, felix learns, is seungmin’s biggest passion. seungmin is quick to capture anything he finds pretty, and felix is always in awe of how beautiful his photos always end up.

 

(though, felix thinks, the person taking the photo is the most beautiful picture he’s seen.)

 

they’re out stargazing one night when felix becomes distracted by the _click_ of a camera, and when he turns his head to his right he finds seungmin smiling at him already.

 

_“your freckles remind me of the stars,” seungmin says, and felix doesn’t have the courage to tell seungmin that if anything is to be compared to the stars, it’s his smile. after all, the male’s smile is as beautiful – if not more – than the stars above, taking felix’s breath away before he can remember to say anything._

that night, felix decides that seungmin is his star.

 

compared to felix’s late night cuddles, seungmin is more walking cherry blossom paths, hand in hand with felix as if to show off their close bond.

 

_“isn’t that kim seungmin? and the transfer kid by his side? ah, they really don’t go that well together.” when felix turns to look at the male by his side, it’s clear he didn’t hear the whispers. he has on a bright smile that acts as felix’s shield, and he’s walking on happily as he swings their interlocked hands._

_and so, pretending that he still doesn’t know that much korean at all, felix tightens his hold on seungmin’s hand as he, too, walks on with a smile that tells the others that he refuses to be taken down no matter what they say._

the pair is once again cuddling when seungmin brings up the idea.

 

_“have you ever thought of performing in front of people?” seungmin questions, eyes shut as felix traces patterns onto the back of his hand. he only responds with a low hum, but when seungmin peeks an eye open he notices the thoughtful glint in felix’s eyes._

_“let’s go,” felix says the next day, causing seungmin to turn and look at him in confusion. “let’s audition. you wanted to, didn’t you?”_

and so, they audition. since it’s a last minute decision, there’s not much time to prepare, but nonetheless, they go. somehow, they both get in, and felix doesn’t even bother to hold back seungmin from jumping up and down.

 

just like seungmin always does, felix captures a beautiful moment, holding it precious in his mind.

 

they’ve barely spent any time as trainees when they’re told about a survival show. it’s a chance to debut, and because felix easily notices the hope in seungmin’s eyes, he accepts.

 

not everything goes as planned though.

 

his team is amazing, he loves them. he grows attached to them quickly, especially since there’s another aussie in the group. no bond is the same as his bond with seungmin’s, and it seems that there’s nothing that can separate the two friends that can’t be described as just ‘two peas in a pod’.

 

until one of their members gets eliminated and suddenly everything is more real. none of this is something felix can take lightly, because a single mistake will tear him away from not just seungmin, but the others that have become like his own brothers.

 

felix learns that it’s not as easy as just hoping that he’ll be okay, because the next one to be eliminated is himself because his korean’s not good enough.

 

felix wants to scream and shout when he hears this explanation, wants to say that _this is too cruel_ but instead all he does is let out choked out sobs, tears streaming down his face as he can only repeat _i’m sorry_ to the members that approach him.

 

he never approaches seungmin, too sorry for ruining his own friend's dream.

 

(or was he something more than just a simple friend? more than a best friend?)

 

later, felix learns that minho was given the chance to return to the group. he realizes that he simply wasn’t good enough, not fit for something that the others were perfect for, and it makes him feel even more apologetic toward seungmin.

 

when seungmin returns to school, ready to tell felix about how he got in the final lineup and how felix would always be the first one to receive their albums when they debuted, he finds his friend’s seat empty. on his own desk is a white envelope, though it’s been doodled over and seungmin can already tell that it’s felix’s because the male always complains about how blank envelopes are just too boring.

 

his heart drops when he reads what’s written on the neatly folded paper inside, writing shaky though there are surprisingly no spelling mistakes.

 

there are, however, spots on the paper that makes it clear that felix had been crying while writing.

 

seungmin places a gentle kiss on each tear stain, wishing he had done the same for the tears that had been streaming down felix’s face when the announcement of his elimination was made.

 

_“i promise, this isn’t a goodbye. once you reach the end of a story, it’s never truly the end. it’s simply the point of which the characters begin a new life. one where they’re happier, even if things aren’t the same as they are before._

_and maybe their story will begin again, and that is what i hope for._

_thank you, kim seungmin, for bringing a happiness to my life that i’ve never felt before. thank you for accepting even the little things, like the freckles on my face that you compared to the stars. (i never told you that in reality, you were my brightest star.) even when i felt like everything was coming to an end, you became the sun in my life._

_in the end, you became my home._

_lee felix.”_

when seungmin is sent home for breaking down in class, his mother doesn’t say anything, only pulls him into a hug with a knowing look in her eyes. she whispers over and over again, _i’m_ _sorry_ , and seungmin doesn’t understand why she’s sorry. he never understands why felix had to say sorry, over and over again, and he never understands why felix had to leave.

 

seungmin is well past the age of an adult when he meets the person who seems to hold the entire galaxy on their cheeks.

 

(in reality, he’s only twenty-three, but he still feels old when he thinks about his times as a carefree eighteen year old.)

 

it’s when he’s walking a path of falling leaves in the autumn, searching paris for the most beautiful photo. he finds it, sitting on a bench, head lowered as one hand, holding a pencil, moves smoothly across the paper.

 

he doesn’t have to think before he raises his camera, snapping a picture of the perfect scene.

 

when the male raises his head, looking his direction in confusion, seungmin grins and breaks out into a sprint, rushing to reach the male.

 

“you still hold the entire galaxy on your cheeks, huh?” he speaks, saying what he should have six years ago. back when they were seventeen and young, back when they had nothing to worry about.

 

“seungminnie?” the male stands up, placing his sketchbook on the bench as he stares at seungmin’s face for confirmation, tears springing to his eyes.

“did you miss me that much, felix? why are you crying? shouldn’t you be smiling, instead?” seungmin’s smile drops as he raises his hands to hold felix’s cheeks, gentle as if he’s the most precious thing in the world – which, seungmin realizes, he is.

 

“why are you here? shouldn’t you be with the others? did i ruin your chances of achieving your dreams, seungminnie?” felix lets out all at once, tears finally started to fall as they had when they had last seen each other.

 

seungmin, rather than replying, places a kiss on felix’ forehead, then his cheeks. he wipes away the male’s tears, and then pulls him closer so he can hold him in his arms.

 

“we never debuted, felix. we decided we’d never be the same without you, and we don’t regret that decision. in the end, i realized that my true dream was you.”

 

“isn’t that too cheesy?” felix sobs out, words muffled because his face is nuzzled into seungmin’s neck and seungmin only laughs.

 

“is it?” he questions, hold on felix tightening – he doesn’t want to let the male run away from him again, not anymore. “it’s probably much more cheesy when i say i hope this can be our happy ending.” he says, voice lowering into a whisper as he places his lips on top of felix’s head, rocking the two back and forth as they stand in each others’ arms.

 

if felix notices that seungmin, too, is crying, he never shows a sign of knowing it.

 

“hey, seungminnie?”

 

“what is it, felix?”

 

“i missed you.”

 

“as did i.”

 

and then felix finds him smiling as their rocking becomes some sort of slow dance, along the path of fallen autumn leaves that reminds him of when he had walked a path of cherry blossoms with seungmin.

 

“i suppose this is our happy ending.”

**Author's Note:**

> lol so if you never realized the letter was never felix's full letter, just the last part of it. however, if anyone wants, i will post a new chapter with felix's full letter !! bc i love u for being able to read to the end of whatever the heck this was (EdITED THIS 11/27 BC IM NEVER SATISFIED)


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